Here is a spiritual experience I would love to share with you. It happened about 4 years ago when
I had to go in the hospital for an operation. As some of my friends on Efnet know, I am a recovered alcoholic and addict. At that time I had about 6 years of sobriety. Being a recovered alcoholic, I knew I was going to receive drugs for this operation. And as some of recovered person say,  it was  going to be a free high. One that was called for. When the time came for the nurse to give me the IV's, I laid on the gurney waiting for the high and what I would go through, I began to notice something was not right. Here I was high, and should have been enjoying it, : ) but I wasn't. Something was different. I didn't feel what I should have felt. Oh I was high, that I know, but it was different. I laid there wondering what's going on with me. Being the kind of person that analyzes alot, I started trying to figure out what was different. And then It dawned on me, the drug was not making me feel like a whole person. When a person, that is prone to alcoholism, first drinks, it changes how how he\she feels, at last he\she feels whole, like whatever was missing is not found. And, for some of us continue to find that feeling, until alcohol or drugs no longer work. And there I was on the gurney, and what had always made me feel whole, no longer did. Writing this, I get in touch with how I felt that day when I got home.

   As I laid there I had to tell someone. I had never heard anyone share this before. Was it possible to become whole.  A study was done on alcoholics, and they found that many alcoholics are a bit short on endorphins. the bodies feel good chemicals.   When the nurse helped me move to the operating table, I reach for her and told her, "I have been sober for 6 years now, and this ain't shit." My exact words. : ) All she did was smile. What I was trying to say was that I no longer needed drugs to make me feel whole. I AM WHOLE  I am a complete person. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, with lots to work on, but that's cool, and another story.
 
   When I got home, I started crying, and laughing. I gave thanks to God, I got on my knees and laughed and cried some more. I had found out one thing I AM FREE, I danced and for a person that has two left feet that is a bit difficult. For a few hours I went through this. And I said out loud, " FREE AT LAST  FREE AT LAST  THANK GOD ALMIGHTY  I AM FREE AT LAST. Even now, again, I feel that feeling I had that day.

   I know that to one that is not prone to alcoholism, this doesn't sound like much, but for me it's a matter of life or death, and I choose life, everyday that I wake up. For some of us drunks, we sought spirituality in a bottle and needle. For me to stay sober each day is to see my higher power at work each day.

    And I own this to GOD, my friends, and a little work on my part.

*hugs*

Avad